Articles | "The Things We Carry" film details

Alyssa: It's been a strange process because we've kind of forgotten that it is personal, in a way. Because it's not all true, there's plenty of fictionalization, I just started seeing it as a story that we were telling. Especially during post-production, I got very desensitized to all of it. I had to. It wasn't about me, Alyssa Lobit, actress, writer or even person, it was this entity outside of myself - this movie. My relationship with my mom is in a good place, and was when we were shooting. So I wasn't pulling from there, acting-wise. But for sure, there were times when we'd be shooting and the absurdity of it hit me. Life imitating art imitating life. The first time I saw Alexis Rhee [who played Sunny] come out with that hair and all of it, it tripped me out for a second.

Athena: I wasn't sure if I could commit to it, in the beginning. I did though and by the time we reached pre-production - maybe because I was so ingrained in the producing aspect - it took on the form of literally being a story, almost someone else's. But the similarities were uncanny. The scene in the bedroom, which we call "screaming faces," where Sunny and Emmie are face-to-face yelling at each other... That was really intense and that was the one time where I dipped into being taken back. Seeing that scene being shot was the first time it really hit me that we were making a movie about people in our lives and putting it out there for the public to see. It was like, "Oh man, I'm producing a movie that is A) about our lives and B) about our mom, as she was during a really rough time." But you get out of it, and the movie-making process is so long, and you're constantly moving it and getting it to the next phase, that it becomes a movie again. But I guess, yeah, when telling people about the movie now, who knew me when all of this was happening, but didn't know about it - which was everyone - it's a little exposing. I'm aware that I'm exposing myself, but I'm willing to expose myself for the good that can come out of this movie.

Alyssa: That's the point of it. Not so people feel bad for us, but maybe feel some kind of connection. I had a post-it up the whole time we were making the movie to remind myself. It said: "We are making this movie to move people. We are making this movie to help people find connection, understanding and LOVE in their lives. In our lives."

Athena: Having my mom's support in this whole venture was really important to me. I felt and still feel a sense of wanting to protect her from people judging her. I can't control that though and can only hope that we've succeeded in showing that behind the addict was a mother. A person. All of the characters in the movie are people with histories, personalities, dreams and demons. Our experiences, biology and ability to handle various circumstances in life shape us. We're all unique flowers. I just hope that we were able to successfully humanize a category of people who are often times quickly dismissed. Displaying this part of our history was also a sensitive topic with our dad not only because he's a very private person, but because those times in our history were so sad and chaotic. Although the father character in the movie doesn't play a key role, in reality our dad was always there. I knew he supported us unconditionally as his daughters but I also knew this venture was a difficult one for him to re-live. I felt a personal responsibility to "make good" I guess you could say, not only because he was our lead investor, but because he's my father. One of the most memorable moments in making this movie is when my dad high-fived us after the final mix. It was a great moment and it made our sense of accomplishment that more sweet.

Alyssa: I personally thought it was fabulous! We hit some rough patches for sure, that were very odd and new, but we made it through.

Athena: It was the best of times and it was the worst of times. I think it was the first time that we had to work together on a business level, and we have different personalities. Now that we've been through this though, we know how to navigate our relationship when working on a large-scale project.

Alyssa: And we have another sister, Alana. I'm in the middle. I'd say Eve was, on paper, a lot like Athena. Well, her point of view in a lot of ways. And Emmie was a lot like Alana and I, kind of combined. But in order to make the characters more clear, we pushed them both to opposite sides of the spectrum. The conflict between Eve and Emmie is a tuned up version of us, if anything. My sisters and I, my family, we're all very close. None of us would ever disappear for three years. But we do have different ways of dealing with the same thing. So, for story-telling purposes, I amped it up.

Athena: Yeah, even during re-writes I never really drew from our relationship, per se. The sisters' conflict, how deep and opposing, isn't something I've felt towards my sisters. I always looked at it like we all responded differently, but really we were all just holding on in whatever way we could. I didn't really feel like my mom's addiction created a wedge between my sisters and I.

Alyssa: Absolutely. Almost every flashback with Sunny is a little unnerving to watch. During post, like I said, we were just cutting a scene together. But seeing the finished scenes now... it's intense. One thing that I feel good about is that one of my favorite scenes in the movie is an exchange that really happened: The last scene of Sunny, in the laundry room. A lot of people are really touched by that scene, and there's redemption for Sunny. That's the mother behind the addict Athena's talking about. Behind every addict there's a mother or daughter or sister or you know, a human being. I think that's also why I'm okay with our personal story being told, by way of this movie. In the end, there's a lot of love and compassion.

Athena: For me it's not so much how "real" the scenes turned out, but more of how "harsh" some of them are. The bedroom scene where Emmie and Sunny scream at each other, it still unnerves me to watch it. The raw emotion of that scene... the screaming and cussing. The display of how the relationship between a parent and child has digressed to such an ugly place makes me feel sad.

Alyssa: Yes, I knew that if this project got made, I'd be playing the lead. I've been at this for a while, and had some success here and there with commercials, I've done lots of theater and shorts and indie films. Part of making this feature was an effort to break myself out. Along the way it came up... You know, was I willing to let a "known" actress play the lead, or even "are you willing to change the ethnicity from Korean to Latin?" But that was kinda the deal. Pretty much the only thing I knew going in was that I'd be playing Emmie.

Athena: Freddy Luis did an amazing job helping us cast the film. Everyone came on to this passion project and gave such an amazing, natural performance. One thing we also really appreciate is that we were able to maintain a genuine authenticity to the story by casting a full Korean woman as Sunny (Alexis Rhee) and a half-Korean sister to play Eve (Catherine Kresge). Although we went into the casting process with the mindset to cast the best for each role, it turned out they were both of Korean heritage. Johnny Whitworth was introduced to Alyssa by a friend some time ago and he was perfect for the role of Jeremiah. Daniel Zacapa (Leslie), Frank Merino (Jose) and Ilene Graff (Kim) all had memorable auditions. Frank's audition was so scary and real that I was almost concerned for Alyssa's safety. Then I realized he was just acting.

Alyssa: Yeah, he's such a sweetheart! I'm really grateful to all of the cast. Everyone showed up and did an amazing job.

Alyssa: Ian's a great guy, and he really got on board with us, and this project. He's not afraid to get down and dirty, shoot fast, and all that, which was really important because of our very tight schedule. We had a lot of fun. You know, making a movie like this is like becoming instant family. It's not always a cakewalk, but it's worth it. I'm grateful to him for taking the reins when he needed to, and allowing Athena to be involved as much as she was creatively. Also, I think it was great to have an outsider's eye on things. Ian was able to look at a certain thing and highlight it in a way we wouldn't have done because we're so close to it, it just seems normal.

Athena: We have an all female producing team and a story about a mother and two sisters. A lot of people have asked why we went with a male director. To be honest, we never set out to hire a male or a female director. We were looking to meet the "right" director and Ian ended up being it. He was willing to work with us on this personal project and at the same time bring his own touch and thoughts to it. As a creative producer, I'm thankful for our working relationship. I feel like we balanced each other out.

Athena: Thank you. It was very difficult getting financing. We talked to a lot of people and garnered a lot of interest but ultimately, this was a passion project and we had very specific terms.

Alyssa: The script was unique in a lot of ways - the subject matter, the Asian element, and the style. It wasn't mainstream. The movie doesn't end like a Hollywood movie. Also, Athena and I were attached, and that was a deal-breaker. We had support all along from friends and peers, but really, in the eleventh hour, our Dad saved the day. We're very lucky.

Alyssa: It's been overwhelmingly great. It's so interesting what people connect with - Asian or not, Female, Male - and what they get out of the movie. Everyone's different. It's wonderful to know that our movie is making an impact on people, giving them an emotional, visceral experience that means something. That connection... It's why I'm an actress and a filmmaker.

Athena: The responses we've been getting thus far have been great and very touching. It means a lot to me when people express that they would like a family member or a friend to see the movie because of the connection they felt to it. It's really interesting to find out how people feel about the movie based on their reactions to the characters, too. Because Eve and Emmie are so different, people tend to seem to gravitate more naturally towards one over the other based on their own personality. It will be interesting to see more of how the Asian/Asian American community reacts when we screen at SDAFF.

Alyssa: I've got a couple new scripts - a quirky indie romantic comedy and a sci-fi action film in the works. But right now, I'm really focusing on my acting career. But you'll definitely see more from the Lobit Sisters.

Athena: The quirky indie romantic comedy Alyssa wrote is really a great script and such a departure from "The Things We Carry". Who knows... maybe our roles will be re-defined with the next project. I appreciate different aspects of filmmaking so I may explore a different role in the next venture.